Bitter and Upset

"Cause I can't make you love me if you don't. I can't make your heart feel something if it won't. Here in the dark, in these final hours, I will lay down my heart and I feel the power...But you won't. I close my eyes so I can't see the love you don't feel when you're holding me. Morning will come, and I'll do what's right. Just give me until then to give up this fight. And I will give up this fight. Cause I can't make you love me if you don't..." - Bonnie Raitt

"I wish I could be as invisible as you make me feel." - fall out boy, "the pros and cons of breathing"

"You came to me like a dream, the kind that always leaves. Just as the best part starts, it ends so abruptly." - alkaline trio, "bleeder" 

"You came to me like a dream, the kind that always leaves. Just as the best part starts, it ends so abruptly." - alkaline trio, "bleeder"

"It's so simple and complicated: the way you can crush me." - matchbook romance, "playing for keeps" 

"There's more than one way to be crippled. I don't mean that you can have a crippled foot or crippled knee or a crippled hand. I mean you can be crippled in your heart. You can store up all your rage at someone, which can weigh down on your heart and twist it into a weird shape until you're always aching underneath. After a while you get used to the ache—just like with my foot. You forget what it's like not to ache. You forget that you're aching at all."

"Thank you. Thank you for making me a much stronger person, who knows what it's like to be hurt, who knows what its like to cry and who knows how to pick up the pieces after you've broken them. Thank you for making me a better person, I'm someone with so much to look forward to and so much to gain from cause basically, I'm someone you're not."

"So this is my new freedom, it's funny, I don't remember being chained." - Savage Garden

Served Faithfully

he caresses every bottle
like it's the first one he's had
saying
it ain't love
but it ain't bad
it's the only reward
bestowed upon me
and i have served faithfully

i can see HE IS SCARRED
from doing some HARD TIME
but i LET ALONE WHAT IS BROKEN
'cause it isn't mine
he strikes out at me
when i am within reach
then he reaches for me
when i draw the line

sometimes it seems like LOVE
is just a FANCY WORD FOR COMPROMISE
you gotta read between the years
you gotta write between the lines
you gotta try to understand
the grandness of the man behind the petty crimes
and let him off easy sometimes

i have only just met
an old old friend
we've been walking around holding hands
I HOPE SOMEDAY HE CAN BEND
as far as it takes to understand
and RISK BREAKING OPEN AGAIN

Spidey is Right!

"No matter how much GOODNESS you've done to them, they will still HURT you."
 
Sad reality: Spidey is RIGHT!

That's the way it goes. No matter how hard you hope. No matter how religiously you pray. No matter how long you keep your fingers crossed. They will still hurt you. Maybe not now, but they will. Maybe they don't know, still, they will.

You will be hurt. It is inevitable. It is inescapable. It is the truth.

Blatant Unrest

Confused.
Clouded.
Undecided.
Anticipating.
Waiting.
Frustrated.
Disappointed.
Perplexed.
Puzzled.
What to do?
What are the choices?
Do I even have a choice?
Drive me.
Help me.
Tell me what to do.
Change my mind.
Ease my mind.
Appease me.
Make me feel at ease.
Please me.

December's Bliss

Why I love December, the reasons I can enumerate:

1. December is happiness. Amidst the coldness of air, it brings about the feeling of warmth with the anticipation of the Holidays' Season.
2. Friends are coming home. What a perfect time to reunite with people who, in every sense of the word, a mosaic of every aspect of a person's life.
3. Early morning masses. Goal: Be able to gain perfect attendance in Misa de Gallo. It brings about a feeling of satisfaction, a sense of fulfillment.
4. Morning walks. It gives me time to think and reflect. It just makes me feel alive.
5. Bright's Birthday! He's turning 7 this year. I just can't wait for the 16th.
6. December is a reminder of high school. And everything that went with it.
7. Neneng and Angge are coming home. :) My loves will be with us. Bonding time.
8. December is equated with foods. Usually, this is the time when they allow us to cook and bake without supervision.
9. I'm going to Davao! I am anticipating a lot of activities with friends and relatives.
10. Gifts galore. December is a Giving Season. And for us, the youngsters in the family, it is Receiving Season. :)