A Bitter Repost

This is a repost from a friend's blog. Her entry caught my attention for two reasons: (1) I love its rawness. I love the idea of pouring out your thoughts uncensored into writing, thus, serving the purpose of expression. (2) I feel her.

for you.

I received your message a while ago. At first, it made me think if I should open your sms or it would be better to erase it without reading. I should have done the latter. Maybe it would have saved our friendship.

Here's your forwarded quote:

"I learned to love someone with all my life... But there came a point when I got tired, not of loving but of sacrificing all that I have. Then a thought came to my mind... I have given everything but have received nothing but pain and tears in return. is this enough to prove that I really love that person? Or is it a sign telling me to stop sacrificing and learn to love myself a little more?"

Here is what I have to say...

First, you don't have the right to tell me that you have loved with all of your life. God knows how long I have waited for you to act a little more mature. A little more responsible. Heck, all I am asking was for you to show that I am important for you. I am important than playing DOTA or going out with your friends. I waited for you to appreciate the things that I have done. I waited for almost a year for you to change and act better. But with the time I gave you, you did nothing but to please your ego. I never felt that love that you are saying. I never felt important when I am with you. Honestly, you made me feel like trash. You walk ahead of me, never gave any concern when I lost a relative, and you never appreciated everything that I did for you. Even a simple letter that I was asking from you was not realized. Talk about effort? You have NONE.

If you didn't get tired of loving, well, I did. With the time that you made me wait for you, figuratively and literally, anyone would get tired. Anyone in my position would eventually stop. I should know. I tried to hold on, but you kept pushing me away.

Now, you are saying that you have given everything and received nothing but tears? WTF! those are the exact words that I should be ranting at this moment. You definitely know what I mean. Now, you are asking me to wait? Oh come on! I might be in love with you but that does not keep me away from my senses. I did love you. But I also love MYSELF.

You loved no one but yourself. Even your parents, (oh I miss them so much) would agree with me. You are a brat. You are inconsiderate. You have your own good qualities but all of them are used for your own benefit. Just try to grow up. Don't act like a damsel in distress. That should have been my role. From the start of this relationship, we have exchanged part. You act childish most of the times. You rant more than I do and the list would go on.

WTF did I do to you to tell me that it was my fault why you are like this? You try to ruin your life because of what happend? WTF! WTF! WTF! If you really wanted that relationship then you shoould have exerted a little effort. And what did you just tell me? When you felt that we are about to break up, you reserved girls? Wow! You just dig a hole for yourself! before, I felt guilty. But not any more. You dont have the right to make me feel like trash. Just because you are one, does not mean you should also treat others that way. You have a great family. Something that I would want to have. They are the ones that kept me holding on. But I hope, they understand why I had to do it. I no longer care what you want to say. Bullshit happens. Our time is done. 

Posted by d0ndawnita at 10:00 PM